We love our men. In all their avatars, including the unshaven, unkempt, hairy version we see on Sunday mornings. And we also love how you guys worship your bikes, your cars, your dogs, your rusty rock music CDs and your jeans. But of course, your love for us surpasses your affection for these material possessions.
Well, after years of bickering, the women in your life make peace with the fact that you LIVE in your jeans. And they must not be washed until the grime on the pocket seams is thick enough to fill the insides of our manicured nails. Even then, we dare not wash your jeans without your permission. And therefore they merrily hang on hooks and handles, along with other used items from your wardrobe that are waiting to be worn at least 6 more times before they will see the inside of a washing machine.
In all fairness, we must admit that only your mum can wash, dry and iron your favorite pair of legs in one single day, and also put it back on the same hook so you won’t know. Alas, the job gets passed on as you grow older. And thus, your jeans become a rather hot topic in an all girls’ evening. Yeah your jeans talk to us, and here’s what they say.
1. Tight is not Might
In fact before we saw our guys flaunting these, we thought skinny jeans were invented for women with an hour glass figure. Although have to admit that most of the participants at this girls’ party would not fit into a skinny pair, but having to see our men in a figure hugging twosome is little less than enchanting. There are other, less obtrusive ways to prove how macho you are than flaunt your curves in a jeans screaming, “May day, may day, 10 seconds away from explosion!”
The ladies did agree on one thing though, that the dude who comes to the gym every morning at 6.45 am and every evening at 7.30 pm would look rather becoming in a slim fit.
Takes us back to the golden, carefree days of college when slits and cuts at all the right places would make a brand new pair of jeans look uber cool. We are not against the rugged, shredded look you like to flaunt on your weekend visits to the mall. But a glimpse of the hair on your upper thigh is something we can really do without. The same way that you can do without accidentally spotting unwaxed underarms on the colleague you secretly admire.
So tear ’em apart but do it strategically for our sake.
3. Butt Don’t just Bend!
Don’t we love it when we see you coddling and indulging your little one at the local park every evening. The mark of an ideal metrosexual man. But then, every time you bend down to pick up your little sunshine, we also get an unsolicited view of your derrière. And boom goes the entire experience. Here’s a solution – Stash away the low waisted pair or better still, pass it on to your 18 year old cousin to keep the legacy alive. You, we would prefer clad in a mid-waist straight fit jeans with no danger of indecent exposure.
Let us women retain the exclusive rights to cleavage show, won’t you.
4. Saggy Baggy
We know the baggy jeans are really comfortable. But then so are sacks, but we don’t wear them. Where in the world do you find them anyway, because if we are right, baggy jeans is a trend that died long before you gave your first job interview. Take our word for it. A well fitted pair will still hide the teeny weeny beer belly you put on while on your way to General Manager from Junior Sales Associate.
It will also up your confidence and give you a shape. Shape is good, you will agree.
5. Handcuffed in Blue? Not cool
Now this is not fair. Men are still supposed to pick the same old shades of blue denim, while women get to flaunt the neons and the works. The world is not a fair place is it! Well, nor is it a place where you should be ‘supposed to’ do something. So go on, try on a pair or two in a new color and make your own decision. Even we are bored of watching you in the blues and browns every single day.
A tip – If you really wish to infuse color into your bottom wear but would rather not invest (or waste) your hard earned moolah in a short-lived fad, pick shorts, bermudas or cargos in brighter colors and pair them up with lighter tees for a refreshing casual look.
There you go Men of the World, Go Flaunt Your Jeans in Style and Make Your Better Halves Proud. We know a thing or two about style so take our tips in the right spirit and Don’t forget, We Love You, No Matter What!